Who am I changing my body for?

Text written by an enby in the night before they cancelled their surgery.

Fuck transphobes. I’m not gonna give them that much power. It’s decided. I wanna live and love my body, laugh with it and even fly. I’m not gonna cut off some part of it just so they maybe gender me correctly. Fuck them. I know who I am, I don’t need to pass for them. I know who I am and my friends do too. I wanna get my boobs stroked and enjoy their smooth skin. Maybe they’ll even feed a human being someday. Yeah I’m gonna keep on looking fat in my men’s shirts but fat is beautiful so fuck you. Instead of being jealous of people who can wear suspenders, I’ll be happy for them. I’m gonna wear make-up and a skirt whenever I want, and if I look too fem to be a good feminist for you, then that’s that you missed the point badly. If you don’t respect my pronouns, I just won’t interact with you. Or maybe I will, because I know that gender is a scam and I’m over that shit. I will feel so much smarter than you. My body is beautiful just as it is and I’m done with treating it badly.

Maybe I’ll change my mind next year
cause the pressure and the hate will have grown unbearable
and I will go through all the paperwork again, more decided then ever.

Until then I’ll help my friends who have been fighting the same war, and the sparkle in their eyes looking at their new flat chest will make me smile fondly.

(They still haven’t decided if they want the surgery or not, but taking their time to take the decision. Happily the health insurance leaves them 3 more years for it)